As you can tell by the wind whipping past his feet, this guy is fast. He's never fast enough to speed away from me, just quick enough to stay one or two steps in front of me. This guy makes my life a living hell. I'm constantly in his wake of smoke. I can't slow down because then I'd be back with the pack of regular speed smokers and I can never seem to outrun him. I lead a very tortured life.
The worst part is that these guys seem to show up by the thousands when the weather is any kind of decent. Back in California, I never had to deal with this because we have a law that allows us to throat punch anyone walking too fast while smoking. Anyone smoking really. California is good like that.
Just look at this guy. He's obviously the type that says he only smokes when he drinks, so he's constantly walking around with a martini like he's James Bond or something. The only thing this guy excels at is being a poo face. Yeah, I said poo face and I mean that in the most offensive way possible. I'll be lobbying for an Illinois throat punching smokers bill this year, so please send in your donations. I'm going to need a lot of money to get past the Anti Smokers Suffering Hand Onslaughts Located at the Esophagus Society. They have a lot of pull around here and nearly unlimited funds from several lung cancer law suits. I won't give up though.
-- Posted From My Smoke Free iPhone.