Monday, December 20, 2010

This is, without a doubt...

... the best way to eat veggies:

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it's better with cheese on it too. I know it doesn't seem like it would be, but it is.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

But first...

One last struggle...

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it is ironic.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010


Really, Syar? Really?

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, rly.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Dear Internet,

Please fix:

I am now accepting submissions for a new hair style. Thank you and remember, I obviously look like a lot of celebrities, let's make sure none of them are women.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it is well manicured.

Friday, December 03, 2010

The future is bulletproof

So yeah, I painted this with light. It's something I do now. Paint with light.

Also, very obsessed with Dangerous Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na...
Posted by Picasa

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Hey... Wait a minute...

Care to explain this Madelyn?

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it's got awesome and additional awesome.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Pahtayto Pohtahtoe

Seriously though, what's up with the public schools? I feel like a lot of children were left behind.

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it's curiously stocked too.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

What am I going to do tonight?

The same thing I do every night, try to draw a picture.
Congratulations to Madelyn, Cadiz, Syar and Cofo on completing another NaBloPoMo!  I feel like a marathon runner after completing, well, a marathon.  You know, if I stopped to walk half the time, maybe ran inside a convenience store or two for some beef jerky along the way and stole some little kids bike to finish the last 2/3rd's of it.

High Fives all around!!!

Monday, November 29, 2010

This is why you should always wait until the day before Christmas to buy presents...

Not long ago, Cadiz's parents finally decided to join the digital age and had broadband internet access installed directly in their home.  I was probably the most excited about this because I get excited about these kinds of things.  It's who I am.  Things went well at first, but then a virus struck the venerable family computer.  Cadiz and her brother decided that a new computer would be the perfect Christmas present.  That got me all excited again.  We settled on a Mac for several reasons, but the most important involved virus concerns.  Macs don't really go on sale so much, so this past weekend provided probably the lowest price we were going to find.  And that was all well and good because I had been tasked with prepping the computer with all the necessary software as well as moving over some photos and other media the Cadiz parents might like to have and all of that takes a little time.  However, yesterday morning's unannounced parental visit produced this unfortunate picture:

I was so flustered I lost my eyebrows.  

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Cop Out #1

Ok, that title is certainly debatable. Almost as debatable as this picture:

-- Post From My iPhone 4 originally.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Self portrait

I'm sitting in a bar where the music is being cranked to jet airliner engine levels. So obviously I drew a picture of myself.

-- Post From My iPhone 4 with love.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The day after yesterday AKA, Today

It occurs to me that I don't really have ANY days off...  I will now go supply a river with my seemingly unending tears.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Ok, who reads that as "Thank Staking" and who reads it as, "Thanks Taking?"  They are two very different things.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Hope springs eternal

I don't know if you knew this or not, but the President of the United States of America pardons a turkey every year.  One. Lucky. Turkey.

I don't know how long that pardon is for though.  I don't know if it's just for the Thanksgiving weekend or what. Is there a ranch full of Presidentially pardoned turkeys?  I. DON'T.  KNOW.

Here's a picture.  Enjoy the thousand words that are no doubt flooding your mind.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Talking about youth is wasted on the elderly...

Here at the Shuck N Jive, we strive to give you fair and accurate information in the most muddled and confusing manner possible.  Enjoy.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Coming Summer 2032...

so yeah, this is going to be based on a true story.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


This is the best I can do with what I think I know...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Coming Fall of 2016...

I forget exactly what was said, I just know that the live studio audience was in absolute stitches.  I can't wait to see the dailies.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I was going to post sooner but...

I couldn't stop eating.  This isn't usually a problem for me, but my hands and mouth were running some sort of a worst-case-scenario drill with my stomach.  We're all still waiting for the lab to process the data.  I'll let you know how my stomach did.
There's been some grumbling lately from fellow NaBloPoMo-ers about not having ideas for posts.  I just want to say to everyone out there participating in NaBloPoMo, lower your standards.  The Shuck N' Jive hasn't had a decent idea for a post since mid 2005.  Just keep swimming.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Thursday, November 11, 2010

One of the great mysteries of the universe

One thing is for certain, I either need to stop sleeping or working and get to the bottom of all this unaccounted for time.  I've been searching the internet for hours trying to figure this conundrum out, but so far no luck.  I'll let you know how this pans out.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The reports of my headache have been greatly exaggerated.

Have I had a continuous headache for four days now?  Maybe.  Three days for sure, but I don't know about today.  It's really not that bad.  It's so mild in fact, that I keep forgetting that I have it, then I stop whatever it is that I'm doing and I feel it again.  It's like when you have a paper cut on your pinky finger and you keep forgetting about it, but then you do something normal without thinking about it and it hits you again.  Yeah, it's annoying, but it isn't ruining your speeches to the tax fraud commission.

Also, I know what's causing the headache, and it isn't really a big concern.  Observe:
It isn't what you think.  The bird isn't pecking at my head.  He just has a bit of a death grip on my head with his bird feet.  They are unusually large and alarmingly strong.  His name is Sunrise (his parents were hippies) and he mostly just hangs out up there.  Showers are a little complicated when it comes time to shampoo, but we have a deal.  I take a shower and shampoo my hair and he stays put and gets in the way.  He's a very savvy negotiator. I got railroaded in the contract.  Did you know I have to do his laundry (fluff, fold and iron) and comb his feathers?  No wonder he won't leave.

*Bonus frustration post


Thanks a lot, O2 sensor!

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it's eagerly anticipating iOS 4.2.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Next time, I'm just taking it to the shop

I changed the oil in Cadiz's car today.  In order to take the photograph below, I had to chop the car right down the middle.  Ha ha, just kidding Cadiz! (seriously though guys, not kidding)  I don't think the picture really shows it that well, but I had to actually have a second elbow implanted in my arm in order to reach the oil filter.  The only way to get at it is to be directly underneath it.  Unfortunately, you can't really see what you're working on and once you get the old filter loose, well, gravity and old oil have a conversation about how best to ruin your clothes.

Also, that second elbow is really helpful when trying to scratch that itch between your shoulder blades.  Other than that, you're just a freak with two elbows on one arm.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Enough with the waiting...

Here's what was inside the box that had me doing the gangbanger shuffle:
This is my first DSLR camera and I am very excited.  You can email me directly if you'd like to see some pictures of me making out with the camera.  They're a little too raw for this blog.  I have been wanting one of these for several years now, but that whole money thing kept getting in the way.  Well, this year, after placing a series of clever hints and clues, I finally convinced everyone to pool all of their resources and help contribute to the purchase of this beautiful camera.  If I ever stop making out with it, I may even shoot a photo or two.

Omar, I triple dog dare you to have a new photo assignment post.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

I don't think I'm alone...

in saying that this is just plain awful.
It's Sunday.  They can't all be winners.  Of course, I will be having custom made sweaters with this pattern on them for all of my family members at Christmas.  I think it's going to be the best family photo ever.  I'm also going to have headbands made up, but those will be optional for photos and mandatory for caroling/wassailing.

Friday, November 05, 2010

This is a monster that doesn't scare me.

The title pretty much says it all.  Although I'm not sure if the monster is mocking me, or asking a serious question...

Thursday, November 04, 2010

His name is Sandra. Sandra the Destructionator!

I thought all of this information was common knowledge, but based on the number of questions I received today, (actual count is currently at zero) I thought I'd offer up some hard facts about the anatomy of a Vampire Dragon Wolf.

You're welcome.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I got troubles

Ultimately, I am responsible for what happens in this life, but there are some things that don't make it easy.  Here is a chart of some of those things and their relative impact.

Do you understand what it means to be on the "Can't Cut" list?  Look it up.  I need a good cry.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

I call this one, "I have to be up at three AM for work and I should have been in bed an hour ago."

I got a flu shot yesterday, so yeah, I'm feeling sick today.  I don't think it's fair that diseases can attack me on a cellular level.  If I can't fight you with my bare fists, then you shouldn't be able to make me feel achy and tired.  Obama is doing absolutely nothing about this while he's the President.  Ugh!! I hate politics!!

Anyway, in spite of my general sucky feeling, I was still able to muster up a little energy today because I got to pick up my birthday present.  It's something I've been wanting for about 4 years now, so yeah, eat it flu or flu like symptoms from a "vaccination."

And you thought yesterday was mediocre... by the time November is over, people will think that mediocre means turn off your computer and never look at the internet again because you may accidentally see this blog.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I turned Larry Bird today.

Obviously I celebrated with Key Lime Pie and Gatorade. Thank you to everyone that made today special!

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, I'm old.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Really guys?

I'll be the first to admit that snagging yourself a good woman is no easy task. But this? Is this really your best idea?

And in a cornfield no less!!

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it finds better shoe deals online.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

No offense...

But I have the best fiancée/future wife in the world. I realize this will make all but one of half the world's population angry, but the truth is the truth. Last night she got me tickets to see Brian Regan. Those that know me know that I love comedy. They also know that I'm a terrible audience member. I almost never laugh out loud. This is not true with Regan. He makes me cry. He had my face hurting and tears streaming within the first 2 minutes. He's that good. Mr. Frosty-locks. That's all I'm saying.

So to my beloved, thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou for another wonderful birthday present!! You are the best, don't let anyone tell you different! But try not to let it go to your head. I get to be with you for the rest of my life:)

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it is still laughing at Brian Regan.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My own version of 50 eggs*

Can I eat five and a half pounds of Red Vines in a single sitting? I don't know, but we're gonna find out!

*someone has to get this reference.
-- Post From My iPhone 4, where twizzlers are classified as plastic, not licorice.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Super harvest moon!! Super harvest moon!!

I still don't know exactly what that means, but the moon was supposed to be bigger and brighter last night due to some sort of significant celestial event. Would you believe I took this photo with my iPhone?

No? That's cool, because I didn't. I used my Canon S3 IS for that.

This is my iPhone shot:

Not quite as impressive, is it?

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it's full of moon shots.

Friday, September 17, 2010


If they had used a few more nails, it might have stayed attached.

-- Post From My iPhone 4. Still attached to my hip, but not with a belt clip. I'm not a belt clip kind of guy.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

One might argue...

That it looks better from the front:

Than from the back:

I'm not sure what's more frightening, the mass of cables themselves, or the fact that I know exactly what they all do and I need every single one of them.

-- Posted From My iPhone 4, for which I also have a cable to plug it into my TV and believe it or not, I still have an open input for it as well.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Do I really just do that?

Yes, yes I did. I jailbroke my iPhone for approximately 5 minutes. Why 5 minutes? Many reasons, but the most important two are: 1) because I wanted the actual numbers associated with my cellular signal instead of interpretive bars and 2) because after a recent upgrade in our Internet connection, 5 minutes is how long it took to download the 589MB update that is iOS 4.1.

Jealousy is encouraged. Unless of course you're still on 4.0.1. Then you can just go to yourself, jailbreak, install sbsettings through cydia, turn on numerical GSM values and then upgrade to 4.1 just like I did. Then we can sit together smugly and act like everyone else is beneath us.

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it was jailbroken for 5 minutes.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Coast to Midwest!

Ok kids, here's the deal, in the very near future, I will be driving my car from it's current location in California to my new home here in Illinois. I will be joined by the lovely Cadiz. For this trip, I plan on using nothing more than my iPhone for directions, pricelining hotels and anything else we might require on our journey. We have limited time, but other than a stop in Reno, what other things should we check out on the way?

-- Post From My iPhone 4. And yes, it is gorgeous.