Well, the mega millions is back up to a serviceable amount of 203 million dollars. Seed money for the potential purchase of a professional sports franchise… That’s what I would do with it anyway. I find that simply being a fan isn’t enough any more, I really need to get out on the court and be shoved by officials, just like Mark Cuban. His personality is a bit hard to deal with, but at the end of the day, he’s a pretty good owner. Just don’t tell him that all he’s been able to do is build a team that can only win in the regular season. Don’t let on that they are horrifically built to win a seven game series against anyone… I wonder if Mark Cuban would still consider paying off all of my debt right now after I made that comment? Maybe if I told him that I agreed about the NBA officiating and how terrible it is… I can write a whole post about it and everything. He gets fined if he says it, but I can say whatever I feel like because I’m not under the control of the NBA… then instead of getting fined $100,000 by them, he could just pay my debt off at a cost of half the fine… this sounds almost too easy… Mark Cuban… What a guy!!
Anyway, there’s finally enough money back in the old mega to make me raise an eyebrow. Well, both eyebrows really, I can’t control them individually very well. I’m a little better with my right than my left. I can almost get just the right to go up, but if I try to do anything with the left, the right follows, not unlike a loyal little puppy.
I was not eligible for the power ball that was won earlier this week. That reached a very nice 363 million. Of course, 8 people had to split it, and after taxes it came out to something ridiculously mundane like 15 million per. At that point, you’d seriously have to ask yourself, “Why did I even join that stupid office pool in the first place? Now I only get 15 mil? Lame…”
This is now the question presented to me: Should I join OUR office pool? There’s already 20 people in it, chipping in $2 a piece. Do I really want to split 203 million with 20 other people? That’s only like 2 million a person… If I wanted that, I could just go beg in the streets… I can’t imagine that your average pan handler makes anything less than 2.6 million dollars a year. Is that what I want? Less money than a pan handler? Hardly seems worth it when you take the time to break it down properly.
The eternal optimist that’s leading this office charge to win the mega millions took the time to inform everyone that last nights California Lottery winner bought their ticket in Canoga Park, which is a city approximately 15 minutes from where we are. He pointed out that this means we definitely have a very good chance to win the mega millions, what with all the good lightning striking in the area… I think I could actually make more money by charging people to come stand in line for the chance to punch that optimist in the face.
Of course, I do have a secret weapon. Something that makes the drawing both unfair and totally unnecessary. I have lucky numbers.