Sunday, November 29, 2009

Heat check!

Sure, I could tell you that I sat around all day watching TV and enjoyed every minute of it, but you wouldn't believe me.  You know that my life is filled with so much more than watching informercials about where I need to send all my loose gold and Wii Resort Archery.  So here's the truth of what I spent my day doing:

Yeah, I know it's obvious, but I'll explain it anyway.  Most of today was dedicated to running around the streets of Chicago and sliding across the hoods of cars.  Some of them parked, some of them moving and some of them buses.  Yeah, I got hops.

You might think someone would try and stop me after sliding across the hood of their car, but you'd be wrong.  Most people appreciate a good hood slide.  I have a personal journalist that follows behind me while I practice my hood slides.  They often interview the drivers of the cars whose hoods I have graced with my sliding abilities and the most common word used to describe my brief (for lack of a better term) performance art is, "majestic."

Is it dangerous? Yeah, but so is picking a fight with an axe murder, but you don't see anyone shying away from that, do you?  I happen to know that it brings a smile to a lot of children's faces, so I'm sort of obligated to do it when you really think about it.  Also, just so we're clear, I wear polish on my shoes and a buffing rag on my hip, so I'm actually perfomring a bit of a community service when I do this and I always leave the hood in better condition than it was pre-slide.  The city should be paying me.  I gotta go make some calls.  Talk to you later.


Madelyn said...

I think you have a great business idea here.

cadiz12 said...

where are the journalists in the picture?

Syar said...

I remember when I was kid, my parents would wake me up early the morning or late at night so that we could make some cocoa and sit by the window to watch someone pick a fight with an axe murderer. Dad would make sure we'd all wear ski masks so that if the murdered or the person picking the fight happened to see us watching them, our identities would be protected. Of course when that happen we'd have to move anyway, but with the money my mom made from being the personal journalist of an award-winning champion hood-slider (I won't drop names), we could afford to do that.


Cofo said...

I'd've (wow, that's a weird contraction) thought that a car with that much style WOULD be yours.

What shade of purple is your car, anyway?