I know what you're thinking, you're in your late 20's and you can finally grow a mustache. Congratulations, that's no small feat. Every year, dozens of people walk around in shame with a naked lip. They can't help it, their either genetically incapable of growing one, or they're not in their late 20's. All those high school kids you see walking around with a mustache? Fake. The lip toupee industry is the second largest toupee industry behind wrist wigs. Of course, all of this is common knowledge.
What I'm about to tell you now is going to get me killed. Not "maybe" get me killed, absolutely, positively will get me killed. Fortunately, these mustache types really take their time. They might not get to me until I'm in my mid to late 150's. What nobody wants you to know about when growing a mustache is that after a certain point, those mustache hairs curl back inside your mouth. Think about that. And while you're thinking about that, now would be a good time to look at this: