Thursday, November 19, 2009

The one where I lose all of my shame plus some shame of a person I've never met and try to coin the phrase digital beggary

The cold hard reality that I have to live with every day is that I'm not immune to making bad decisions.  I know, I didn't believe it when I first heard it either, but I went to the doctor and he confirmed that I had B-D.I.D.S. (Bad Decision Immune Deficiency Syndrome.)

I might not have made this clear before, but I don't get paid a lot of money.  As such, I really shouldn't even be paying attention to woot when there's a woot-off going on.  I made the mistake of checking in at around 10 am central time.  They had a Dyson cannister vacuum up there for a very attractive price.  The price really doesn't matter though because at this point, no price is really good enough.  Unfortunately, this is one of those rare moments when my iPhone failed me.  See, when it comes to woot, you guessed it, there's an app for that.  I rushed in a little too quickly before really thinking it through, so now I've probably got to unload this thing on eBay.

The thing that sucks the most about this is that we really need a vacuum.  Our vacuum broke awhile back and we've avoided buying a new one because the good ones don't come cheap and there doesn't seem to be much of a point to owning a crappy one that will just break in a few months.

So I've got three options:

1. Get a better job.  (I'm working on that)

2. Spend all of my free time on the street wearing this:

3. Engage in digital beggary by hocking things nobody really wants like this:

If I can just sell a few hundred of these, I should be good.  I recommend buying at least 36 at a time because the price for buying in bulk is way better than for smaller quantities.  Plus, who wants to wash dishes all the time?  Why not have a few dozen mugs that you only have to wash once a month!  Tell all of your friends!  Tell your friends to tell all of their friends!  Let's just make this a big social experiment.  Let's see how many of these babies we can sell!  Who's with me?  Once the vacuum cleaner has been paid for, all remaining proceeds will be divided by two charities:  The Pay the Damn Mortgage Foundation (a personal favorite) and The United Let's Hope We Don't Have To Serve Pizza At Our Wedding Federation (another personal favorite).  So you know it's for a good cause.


Amanda said...

Buying a Dyson could never be a bad decision. Mine is the greatest!! Maybe you could put "$$ for my Dyson" on your Christmas list that you obviously haven't made.

Madelyn said...

I'd totally buy one of your mugs if I wasn't poor.

Ever since I took woot off of my bookmarks bar, I never check it. I consider this a good thing.

Madelyn said...

Also, you guys don't have carpet, wouldn't a broom work just as well?

Madelyn said...

Oh, and another thing, I bought a dirt devil 4 years ago for like 70 bucks and it still works great. I think as long as your not vacuuming large amounts of fur everyday a cheap vacuum will last for a while. then again, I'm a cheap bastard.

Jon said...

Amanda: I may very well put that on my list.

Madelyn: I don't really want you to buy the mug, I want all of your friends to buy the mug.

But I have an app for woot...

Madelyn: Um... we have wall to wall carpeting in our bedroom and the rug in the living room, which has to be basically combed by hand. We really do need a vacuum. Plus, vacuums work better than brooms on hard floors because instead of just pushing the filth around, you can actually suck it up.

cadiz12 said...

as much as i wouldn't mind not having to comb that damn rug by hand (shouldn't all the *new carpet* shedding be done by NOW?), i think i'm going to have to remove Woot from your bookmarks list, too.

you sure have a taste for the finer things, jon. but i'm going to take that as a compliment.

Anonymous said...

Dyson vacuums are awesome. I'm also a big fan(get it? ha.) of the bladeless fan - - not that I want you to want to buy something else. You'd need to sell twice the mugs!

I'm seriously considering buying a mug, though. I recently dropped and shattered my only one, and am in dire need of a new one. And for a cause that good? It's hard to turn down.

Syar said...

What if you found other people in the similar situation of needing a vacuum, but for like small things (a rug like you have, or just a once over for a small space) and rent out your vacuum? And to entice customers, wheel out the mugs!