Thursday, November 30, 2006

Do you hear what I’m saying?

I’m not sure when it happened, but it looks like someone finally started listening to me. I’m a little biased, but I’d say it’s about time! I’m kind of a genius. I’m really really smart and I know how things should be done. I’m not opposed to telling you that I really ought to be in charge of pretty much everything. Sometimes, you’ll find that there are those that think they know what to do, and every once in awhile they’ll get lucky, but really, they are kidding themselves. I am perfect. I wouldn’t get it wrong because I honestly don’t think I’m capable.

No wait, I take that all back. I now have to listen to Marv Albert call the Lakers game. Looks like I was wrong, no one is listening to me at all. I don’t recall asking for him to broadcast any of the Laker games this year. Nor do I recall demanding that they be shown on TNT, home of the worst camera angles in the world. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to watch the game if my seats were located under the floorboards, or if I were spinning around uncontrollably and hanging upside down from the rafters in the far northwest corner, but I’m just not sure if the ball-cam is right for any audience.

I suppose I could just turn down the volume, but honestly, what would this post be about then? How I turned down the volume on the television? I’m not entirely sure that is a marketable post. As you are all well aware, my marketing strategies are second to none. I pride myself on providing the right kind of content to bring in the proper audience for my investors. We here at the Shuck N Jive have a reputation for delivering the goods. I’m not about to tarnish that sterling reputation with some post about how I turned down the volume on the television!

Frankly, I’m a little surprised you would even suggest I’m capable of that kind of foolishness. I’m almost offended.

Just for that, I’m going to subject you to more of my computer nonsense. I’ve done a pretty poor job of documenting the whole process, but I’m sure some of the more vigilant readers are aware of my little cloning project. A few words of advise for those that are thinking about doing the same thing. Don’t. Ok, that was only one word, but it was a contraction, so I suppose one could put forth a pretty low level, unrehearsed, awkward argument that it was two words, but by the time you finish with it, your audience will be bored and no one will really care anymore.

If you’re running windows, and you have a legit copy of the the OS installation disk, I suggest you update the heck out of your current computer, install the OS again on the new hard drive and update the heck out of it. Go back to the old drive, do the files transfer wizard, follow the instructions. Burn that file it creates to a DVD, switch back to the new drive, run the wizard again and put in the DVD. You’ll have to move that file from the DVD to the new hard drive, but that’s about the best way to get it all taken care of. I could have done that in the span of one day. Instead, convinced by what I read online, I tried (painfully and unsuccessfully) to clone the hard drive. I’m sure in some far off land where people have “ideal circumstances,” cloning works. But I’ve found it to be just a frustrating experience that I’d rather not repeat. I spent many hours on it, and it didn’t work. I’m now posting from the new computer; I have all my programs and settings (and most importantly, my passwords for online activities) all loaded up and ready to work for me. If you want to upgrade, be prepared for a fairly large hassle. I wish you the best of luck… unless of course you are upgrading so that you have better equipment to hack into my system and steal from me. For those of you out there with such ambitions, I do not wish you luck. I wish you the opposite of luck, whatever that is… it’s probably called bad luck, but I’m neither disciplined enough to go back and retype those last couple of sentences nor am I quick enough to think about what I’m typing anyway.


omar said...

Before I get to commenting on this post, I'd like to take a moment to comment on your commitment to NaBloPoMo.

Don't take this the wrong way, but of all the bloggers I've ever encountered in my entire life, ever, you were at or near the bottom on the list of those I would have expected to participate. Let's be honest here, you're not known around blogging circles for being a guy who posts too much. When I've been hanging out around the water cooler, I've never heard anyone say, "Man, I wish Jon would post less frequently."

And of the four bloggers I regularly visit who participated in NaBloPoMo, I'm ashamed to admit that I thought you'd be most likely to not finish. Let's just say that in the office pool, I had that you'd miss a day by November 4th (I was waffling between the 3rd and 4th, but thought I was giving you the benefit of the doubt).

So while I've been going around congratulating other bloggers on finishing the month, I'd like to offer not only a special congratulations to you, but an apology. I'm apologizing both for not having faith in your ability to post every day, and for the mob guy I'm about to send out to your house to rough you up and collect the money I lost in the pool.

Well done, Jon. Well done.

I've run out of steam here, so I'm not even gonna comment on the post.

Jon said...

Omar: I’m not even offended by that. In fact I’m flattered. Of course, one of the things we pride ourselves on here at the Shuck N Jive is being unpredictable. Unfortunately for gamblers, this makes us a bad bet. You never know what we’re going to do. However, I should confess, this was a bit of a payday for me. I’m not going to say that I spent the past year setting up Vegas for this one, because that could be illegal, but the odds of me making it cleanly through the month were somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,022,635,941,913,188,913,256,891 to 21,354,699. And when I had the phone line that provides my house with DSL clipped… well, I knew some people were trying to cash in on it too.

Right now, my only regret is that I bet fortune cookies instead of actual money… I have a lot of fortune cookies if anyone is interested… Seriously… I have A LOT.

Lets not forget that I also had posts on the last two days in October… That’s 32 straight, slightly below par, posts. I think I quintupled my output for the year. Mostly I’m proud of the fact that I didn’t post about posting every day, I didn’t put up any, “I’m only doing this because I have to,” posts. I’d have to say my greatest accomplishment isn’t posting every day, it was finding a girl cool enough to put up with me and help me post while I dictated it over my cell phone. And she did it perfectly and without complaint. I’m very, very lucky.

cadiz12 said...

face it, jon: you're a hustler.

way to go on nablopomo! believe me, i know it's not easy.