Wednesday, November 21, 2007

This will all be on a quiz someday I'm sure.

I’m all about self-discovery. Figuring out what makes me tick is always interesting. Conversely, figuring out what does not make me tick is also very interesting. The thing that I love most about self-discovery is that it can happen at any moment and at any time. There are no rules when it comes to this sort of thing. For instance, yesterday, I found out that I write at an elementary school level. That’s good info.

Today, I discovered something equally as important. I found out that one of my least favorite things to do in this world is replace the toilet seat on a toilet. This was not a discovery made slowly over the three-hour course of operation: New Toilet Seat. No my friends, I made this discovery very early on in my mission. There are only two bolts holding on the toilet seat and this might give someone the false sense that it’s and easy project, but just wait until the first bolt strips out like it’s made of loosely packed sugar.

You might be thinking that this is a good time to bust out the Gator Grip. You’d be wrong. For that to work, you’d need some semblance of an edge to grip onto, or at least and oval shaped head. That is not the case. Instead you are left with a perfectly circular nub. I momentarily halted my operation to bring in a team of scientists with some really expensive equipment to confirm this. It was a perfect circle. I think they're going to publish cross referenced articles in both "Plumbing Mishaps Monthly" and "The Scientific Journal for Circles and Circles Only." That second one is bi-weekly (and by that, I mean that it comes out every two weeks), so keep your eyes peeled.

I won’t elaborate on exactly which power tools I used, or how much my fingers may have bled, but suffice to say, there’s a new toilet seat installed now. Word to the wise though, don’t ask me to help you change your toilet seat unless you’re in desperate need of a slap to the face.

1 comment:

cadiz12 said...

whoa. i would have resigned myself to just hovering for the rest of my life way before it came to bleeding. or else, i'd just move.