I was relieved of my job a few months ago on a Wednesday. I did what anyone would do, I bought lottery tickets for Wednesday’s drawing, as well as Friday’s and Saturday’s. You may find this hard to believe, but I didn’t win any of those jackpots. It took me all of Sunday to get over that. But then something strange happened. I stopped wanting to win the lottery.
Since the week I was let go, I haven’t checked the jackpot to see where it was at once. I used to check it several times an hour while I was at work. In retrospect, that may have had something to do with my being let go… but we’ll never know for sure. Some of my former colleagues have a theory that my wardrobe played a factor in the decision. They have this ridiculous idea in their heads that because I used to wear a shirt that said, “I hate this job and you can tell the president of the company that I think his mom smells funny!” that I lost my job. I don’t see how a shirt like that would play a factor at all, but like I said, it’s just a theory. The shirt was given to me as a Christmas present from another coworker that I initially thought didn’t care for me, but once I received the gift, I knew we would be bestest of friends. I thought it would be rude not to wear the shirt at least 3 times a week, but never for more than three days in a row.
I think it may have been a situation where I cared so much about winning the lottery, that I was destined never to have such luck. It turns out that the statute of limitations on the desire to win the lottery is approximately 2 months. No, I didn’t win the lottery exactly, but I might as well have. I pulled a pair of shorts out of the dryer yesterday and put them on. When I checked the back pocket, I found $33 in there. If that’s not the equivalent of winning the mega millions jackpot, I don’t know what is. I should be covered for at least another 5 or 6 months now!
I don’t know how you sorry working folks do it… That’s no way to live. Just find cash in your back pocket, that’s what I always say.
2 comments:
funny, i just looked in my pocket and all i found was some wadded-up kleenex.
Just think - tax-free income!
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