An Apology

By a show of hands, who here thought that the streak had ended?

Wow. That’s a lot of hands. I didn’t even realize I had that many readers. Of course, I did not specify, but each person should have only been holding up one hand, not two. Still, point taken.

I want to share with you all a very important lesson I learned today. The fact that I learned it today should be mostly irrelevant to you, but I do hope that you learn from my mistakes.

I found out from this website, that in order to read and comprehend this blog, you need to have, at the very least, completed junior high. This came as a bit of a blow to the staff here at The SNJ. We’ve been in operation for coming up on three years now and we had no idea that we had let ourselves go like this. We have standards. We have principles, and because of this, we feel it is necessary to apologize to everyone in the entire state of Rhode Island, as well as the unincorporated territory of Guam, for having let ourselves sink this low.

From this point forward, The SNJ promises not to be such a smarty-pants. Hence forth, you can expect a severe dumbing down to take place. No more fart jokes that go over everyone’s head. No more passing notes during class. No more advanced geometry! We’re going to bring The SNJ back down to the kindergarten level where it belongs.

Starting tomorrow, you can expect to see a lot more posts about finger painting and how NOT to eat play doe. I can only hope that it’s not to late for my actions to still mean something. God help us all if I am too late.

Get a Cash Advance