Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of being a rich, millionaire playboy… It’s got a certain appeal. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I really think I could handle the responsibilities. I’m very good at traveling on a whim and I think I have surpassed everyone’s expectations in the frivolous spending department. I’ve been doing this underpaid, overworked thing for quite some time now, and I think I could use the change of pace.
I think to start things off, I’d buy an island. Not one of those cheesy, under water half the year, pieces of garbage they sell down in the Florida Keys, I’m talking about the real deal. Then I would build a racetrack around the perimeter, with a good mix of straight a ways and technical turns. I dare say it will be the greatest racetrack of all time. No doubt world-class drivers from all over the globe would beg me to come take a spin on it. I would of course let them, because what fun is something like that all alone? Answer: Not much. It’ll have to be an island with a big hill/mountain in the middle, because that’s where I’ll be building my castle. Yes, I will be building a castle. Not a home, not a mansion, not a compound, but a castle. I’ve got a few ideas from my good friend William Randolph Hurst. But mostly I want lots of secret passages and hidden doors. They don’t make enough houses today with secret passages, and I think that’s a damn shame. (pardon my language, some things just get me upset like that.) I also want a healthy amount of fire poles and slides to help me navigate the castle quickly. I imagine it will be 7 or 8 stories, 3 of which will be underground. I’ll have a full size theater, of course, equipped with leather recliners able to accommodate around 50 people or so. On the roof there will be a helipad for my helicopter (duh, I mean, why else would you have a helipad?) that I will use to go back and forth from the mainland when I need to. The island will be mostly self-contained. It will be 100% solar and hydraulic powered, and no harmful emissions will be produced by anything. All race vehicles will be electrics. I will also have a full sized major league baseball park built. It will have a 75,000 seat capacity, and it will be the largest playing field anyone has ever seen. 450 ft down the lines, 530 in the gaps and 600 to straight up center. Why so big? Because triples and inside the park home runs are way more exciting than any ball hit over the fence, but if you can hit one over these fences, then that will also be exciting because my god, it will have to be absolutely crushed!! (Also, there will be no ‘roids on this field, it’s 100% clean Baseball) There will also be an indoor basketball arena, which will easily be converted to a badminton arena, because badminton kicks ass!! Actually, it will be a very multi purpose arena, tennis, volleyball, indoor ultimate Frisbee (that will be intense, especially when we turn out the lights and play with a glow in the dark Frisbee and some of those glow necklaces to identify the players, you know, so no one gets hurt.) and any other sport I think it will be fun to play.
I could literally, figuratively, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and metaphorically go on forever… but I have to get up for work tomorrow, and that really cuts into forever. So I’ll quite wasting your time and mine… for now…
7 comments:
so what does it take to qualify for a spin on that track? just wondering; i may have to finally get around to learning how to drive stick.
Two comments, both relate to the baseball stadium.
-You better not charge more than a couple of bucks for outfield bleacher seats that are 600+ feet away.
-How are 75,000 people going to get to your island? I'm having trouble grasping the logistics of it all.
Nonetheless, I admire your vision. Best of luck to you.
have toyed with taking on a sugar daddy but i just can't go through with it. [sigh]
no badminton for me.
Cadiz: All it takes is desire and passion, and track access will be granted. However, you will need to learn to drive stick as all vehicles will have a manual transmission. Don’t worry though, there will be a full training ground with lessons available. I taught my best friend to drive stick, he had some serious timing issues. It’s all about timing and feel.
Omar: There will be no admission to the ball park, and I will have an intricate ferry system running from the mainland to deliver would be baseball lovers to enjoy the games. I will draw a crappy map in Paint later on and show you with amazing detail exactly how this will all work.
Jasmine: Why no badminton? I’d say sugar daddies are over rated, you can make your own sugar.
okay, i'll get that manualtrans training in gear.
jasmine, sugardaddies are overrated; they usually tell crappy jokes and have bad breath.
and badminton kicks ass.
You definitely need an enormous water slide. What fantasy island is complete without one?
Cadiz: “…manualtrans training in gear” - good one!
Girlspit: Oh, there will be waterslides a plenty, make no mistake about it. Today was a bad day for free time to draw aforementioned crappy map, perhaps I will get on that tomorrow, perhaps not, I am still in contention for procrastinator of the decade…
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