Another binocular shot

Because my iPhone has no real zoom.



-- Posted From My iPhone using an unnecessarily cumbersome contraption to produce semi-adequate zoom.

River from our window through binoculars.

This came out better than I thought it would. Remember, I'm taking all of these photos with my iPhone.


-- Posted From My iPhone via binocular enhancement.

It's pronounced, Mar-Ē-Ō

I made him take off his hat for this photo.



He didn't like that though, so I took one with the hat on just to keep him happy.


-- Posted From My iPhone, which prefers visors to hats.

I need to start taking pictures earlier.

-- Posted From My iPhone under low light conditions.

Excuse me while I update my résumé

In case you can't read that, and really, you shouldn't be able to, it says that "Executive ability is prominent in your makeup." This explains why I've been having such poor luck as an under-paid grunt.

-- Posted From My iPhone, which is also executive in its breeding.

Our beastly orchid

-- Posted From My iPhone and a tripod in low light.

Look up

Leaving the office.


-- Posted From My iPhone before I ran into a wall.

Another weekend gone.

-- Posted From My iPhone.

This can only mean two things:

1. This is a seriously common problem.

2. There is some very real Canadian hatred in this town.

I'm not sure which is worse.



-- Posted From My American iPhone.

I work with adults

... but a trip to the mens restroom might suggest otherwise:





-- Posted From My iPhone which was sanitized following this trip to the mens room.

Goals

One day, I hope to play some sort of advanced dodge ball hybrid game in this area. Preferably involving segways and air cannons.


-- Posted From My iPhone without the aid of an air cannon, sadly.

This is required too.

Every once in awhile I'm going to forget that I'm supposed to be taking a picture every day and then remember when it's too late to do anything about it. On those days, I will be doing self portraits. You can skip over those days. No offense will be taken.



You should see the pictures that didn't make the cut. Here's one example:



The weird part is I KNEW the picture was being taken and I still thought licking my mustache was a good idea. I have a lot to learn.

-- Posted From My iPhone which secretly wants to be photographed too.

Another work day ends.

-- Posted From My iPhone who is not back from vacation yet either.

One of my favorite family traditions.

-- Posted From My iPhone with frosting.

Why take a picture?

What we have here is a rare sighting of a good NFL playoff game.


-- Posted From My iPhone without disturbing the wildlife.

Adios Khalyfornyah!

-- Posted From My iPhone before all electronic devices were forced to be turned off.

Obligations

Just wouldn't be a trip home without a visit to my favorite spot to avoid getting stabbed.




-- Posted From My iPhone. Avoiding being stabbed since 1994.

Tick Tock

I think my clock is broken because time just doesn't seem to be moving.








-- Posted From My iPhone frozen in time.

Thanks for nothing

This has effectively ruined my vacation.



It might not be clear, but this tire is with child.

-- Posted From My iPhone. Jealous?

Notice anything different?

I lost 35 lbs. today. It's mostly evident in my head where my ears seem to have grown, but really I lost a lot of weight. Most of that weight was water weight and it left my body through the pores in my face. If you saw today's picture post, then you know what I've been working on. In order to accomplish that task, I spent a fair amount of time in the attic. If there's a better way to stay mostly motionless and still sweat out a small toddler's worth of water, I'd like to know about it so that I can avoid that too. This is when that beautiful 70 degrees outside becomes the enemy. But I think the final product was worth it.


-- Posted From My iPhone, which was spared from the attic adventure.

This one called for a series

And that's how I spent the first few days of my vacation.

-- Posted From My iPhone in series.

For my future

I'm thinking about a new career in movie poster design/ tag lines. Here's a freebie:


It's a draft. I hesitate to call it a *rough* draft because it looks pretty polished if you ask me.


-- Posted From My iPhone, where all good things come from.

Know your tools

Wasn't sure what I was going to post today, then this happened:


His rear tire is about a quarter of a mile up the freeway. Word to the wise, when you rotate your own tires, make sure you put them back on tight.

Also, please note that he was extremely lucky in that he was able to pull over without issue and the tire stayed straight and didn't bounce up into oncoming traffic. It just rolled to a stop in the center divider.


-- Posted From My iPhone where all the screws are nice and tight. Wait, that sounds wrong...

Another death avoidance celebration

Today is my mother's birthday (Happy Birthday mom!!) so we went out for lunch to one of her favorite restaurants. It's one if those places where they cook the food right in front of you and the chef basically puts on a bit of a show with his cutlery. Now I'm not saying this guy wasn't friendly, or a good cook, I'm just saying that his performance came by way of the United States Postal Service.





There were times when he was basically just banging his utensils together and I thought to myself, I could probably do that with little or no training.

-- Posted From My iPhone without any training.

Jungle cat

-- Posted From My iPhone right before I was mauled to death.

Simple things

Yes, my car is pretty bad ass. Your jealousy is to be expected. And as much as I knew I would enjoy driving it again, there are also some things I'd forgotten how much I would enjoy doing in early January. For example:



This kind of activity is only performed by the truly insane back in Chicago. Now I just need to find some old CDs…

-- Posted From My iPhone with the breeze in my hair.

Visiting Grandma

She was enjoying some freshly picked peas.


-- Posted From My iPhone... Again.

Let's play a game...

Here are two people. Let's see if you can tell the difference.

Person # 1:


Person # 2:


Have you figured out the difference yet? No? I'm sure you've given up now, so here's the answer. The difference is in their mentality. It's actually the same person. The main difference is that the second guy has the balls to think he's an expert traveler just because that security line is shorter. But just so you know, wannabe expert traveler guy, shoes and belt buckles aren't allowed through the metal detectors. And you need to take your laptop out of the bag. And you need to have your ticket in hand. And your cell phone and keys need to go through the x-ray machine too. And cigarette lighters are still not allowed. And you should really be restricted to traveling by mule (no offense mules).


-- Posted From Expert Traveler iPhone app.

Vacation at the palace

This weeks accommodations provided courtesy of The Penguin Palace™.





-- Posted From My iPhone, like it was meant to be.

Watch and learn

Why pack for my trip when I can be doing this:

Besides, my flight *might* get canceled.

Blame Syar

While reading Syar's blog the other day, I learned about a project where you take at least one photo every day and post it somewhere. My contract with the Shuck N Jive prohibits me from posting this kind of activity anywhere else. Go figure. So now you may be subjected to as many as two posts a day here at the SNJ. Sucks for you.

I'm making up my own personal rules though, so here's what you have to deal with:
1. Post one picture per day for 365 straight days.
2. Said picture must be taken on the day it is posted.
3. Said picture must also be taken with my iPhone and subsequently posted using the same app I'm currently using to post this right now.
4. No description is required, but you know me.
5. All daily photos will receive only one tag, and that will be POTD ( Picture Of The Day).

That is all. So let us begin with something fairly bland.



This is the view out our window this morning. The snow was actually floating up past the window due to the updraft. My friends E & S know what I'm talking about from our trip to the Hoover Dam a few years ago. That was rain, but you catch my drift. Get it? Drift? Whatever.


-- Posted From My iPhone because that's the damn rule!

I hate repeats

Some of you may remember that last year I went home for Christmas.  Maybe you're not keeping tabs on that sort of thing, then again, maybe you are.  I'm not here to judge.  My journey last year was significantly lengthened by weather delays.  According to the weather magicians, there's supposed to be a big snow storm coming in tonight.  A flight cancelingly bad snow storm.  I'm ok with that happening tonight because my flight isn't until Friday morning.  The problem is, it's not here yet.  I'm convinced that it's going to come in late and thus roll over into my flight time and once again cause me to spend an entire day on a trip that should only take about five hours.  So this is me right now:

A moment of silence please

It's cold here, so at night I like to wear pajamas.  Truthfully, I like to wear pajamas during the day time as well, but I've been told in no uncertain terms that failure to wear more appropriate attire around the office will result in my immediate termination.  I went to put on my trusty Scooby Doo pajamas the other day only to find that the elastic has given up in a most unfortunate area: The waistband.  They were very comfy.  They had pockets.  I love having pockets on my pajama pants.  Where else am I going to keep my mixed tapes?!?  These pajamas will be missed.  I don't want to give up on them, but I can't afford another mishap like this:

It's just too much of a tripping hazard.

The countdown has begun...

Oh yeah, I'll probably get to see my friends and family blah blah blah.


I'd also like to point out that this picture isn't scaled accurately.  The real calendar is much, much larger.

Another solid argument for ending winter sooner

I don't hate everything about winter.  Sure, there's a surprisingly long list of things that I hate, but I'm sure a gun-point induced list would produce a myriad of things I like.  I'm not doing that today though since Gilbert Arenas isn't around (Ha ha, what a great joke that will soon be totally out dated and no one will understand.).  Instead I'm going to point out all the areas on my body that suffer greatly from dryness.  Itchy, dry skin is something about winter that I hate.  Kind of a lot really.

Liars, every single one of them.

Supposedly, we're setting some sort of wind chill records around these parts.  Excuse me if I don't show any pride about this fact.

Another helpful tip

Bored on New Year's Day? Try this handy little trick:

Step 1. Buy and iPhone at least six months before the new year (the longer you have it the better).
Step 2. Spend all your time becoming addicted to and reliant on said iPhone.
Step 3. On New Year's Eve, pretend that you think there's something wrong with your iPhone.
Step 4. Reset your iPhone and try to lose as much of your important information as possible as well as all of your music.
Step 5. Spend the day trying to get your life back in order without crying.
Step 6. Repeat.

It's just that easy!!