True Confessions of an English Major (or as I like to call it, the Book Meme)

Of all the posts I’ve written, this one is sure to get me in the most trouble. As you all know, in one of my more foolish decisions in life, I went after an English major in college. As such, I’m supposed to know a lot about books. Well, prepare to be disappointed, outraged, disillusioned, scared, saddened, itchy and most of all, bored.

So begins my list…

The Number Of Books I Own: 183. That’s a rough estimate though, the exact count remains a mystery as I have neither the time nor the desire to actually count them. Who does though? I’ll bet that person doesn’t have a lot of friends. Not that I have a lot of friends, but that’s due to other reasons besides my compulsion to count every book I own.

The Last Books I Bought: Five minute mysteries. This was a mistake. I like things that make me think, and I like to solve riddles or puzzles. I went to the book store last week to see if they had anything that fit that description. The selection was decidedly sparse. This was the best I could come up with, but the sale tag of $3.99 should have been a dead give away. There are 40 five minute mysteries in this book, after getting through the first too with minor difficulties, I realized that the key was to be an idiot. This book turned into an exercise of finding the most vague and circumstantial evidence in the story and then using that to solve the crime. Let’s just say Mrs. Marple would be disappointed, as would Coco and Yum Yum.

Last Book I Read: How to play poker like the pros. This is the Phil Helmuth Jr, edition of poker strategy. It’s actually helped my game a fair amount. It is of course my goal to become a professional gambler, so I thought I’d read one book and then go take down Vegas. I’m pretty sure it’s just a matter of time before all of Vegas grovels for mercy at my feet, but as of yet I haven’t had the time to make a trip out there. It’s been too long, Vegas is calling… maybe Vegas just wants my money, but this time, Vegas is going to get a little surprise…

Five Books That Mean A Lot: This is where it’s all going to hell in a proverbial handbasket…

1. Journey to Ixland by Carlos Castaneda. I haven’t been able to convince too many of my friends to read this book because when they look it up at the book store, it shows up under “New Age Religion.” And their Christian upbringing prevents them from even considering reading it. This is just fiction people. I also like the perspective it gave me. That’s all I really have to say about it if you haven’t read it. I underlined a lot in this one… I don’t normally do that.

2. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. This book makes the list because I didn’t really read it until I was in college and had a British lit class with it on the syllabus. I had grown up with the horrifically misguided view of Frankenstein’s monster. When I read this, not only did I find it well written, but I became fascinated with the monster as Shelley had written him. Fast, Athletic, Strong and above all, extremely intelligent. I like books that make me think, and this one made me rethink a lot of preconceived misconceptions that I had.

3. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. Truth be told, I could have listed any number of books by Hesse here. He’s easily my favorite author. I like his approach and how he always shows the journey of life and it’s constant change. How a person can move through life, remain the same person, but change their outlook and their priorities. The process of individuation is one that fascinates me, and no one shows it better than Hesse.

4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by (seriously, you don’t know by now?). Again, could have listed any of her books, but this one happens to be my favorite so far. I was a skeptic for quite some time like so many others, then I actually read the books. They are not to be ignored. There’s something very universal about them that really appeals. I’m also getting pretty sick of the church complaining about how they advocate witchcraft. Get over it, these books are about good Vs. evil, they just happen to use witchcraft and wizardry as a backdrop. I also hate how the same critics of HP, loved the Lord of the Rings trilogy… same thing. Just because J.R.R. is widely accepted as a Christian doesn’t mean he didn’t use magic too. Am I crazy?

5. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. This is another one of those books that made me take pause and think about things for awhile. While it’s true that I don’t believe in God, I definitely believe in the effect we have on other peoples lives even if we don’t realize it at the time. I never saw the TV version of this, and I’m kind of glad I didn’t. I have a very specific idea in my head of what this book looks like in my imagination and I like that picture. I won’t let that be ruined. (not like Jurassic Park. I really liked that book and thought the movie did such a poor job with it that it made me sick.)

I could go on, but right now most people have probably passed out and are repeatedly hitting the “b” hey with their forehead on the keyboard. That should make for some fantastic comments on this post.

One Book That Meant A Lot to Burn: The Pioneers by James Fennimore Cooper. I seriously wanted to slit my wrists after I got nearly 85 pages into this one and approximately 12 minutes of time had passed in the story. Sometimes, it’s hard being an English major.

People I think deserve this kind of agonizing torture…

I think I’ve proven to pretty much everyone out there that I’m nothing if not a thief. So I’m going to steal a line from Jasmine here and say if you want to do this, go ahead, if not, smack me in the face and call me jerk just like everyone else. Besides, I think almost everyone else has I know has been tagged by one of these meme things…