Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A Triple A how to…

For centuries now, scholars have debated weather or not you should write, “Triple A” or just, “AAA” when referring to the American Automobile Association. I’m going to stick with the classic, “If I just use three “A’s,” it looks like my keyboard is sticky and that I’m mildly unaware of it,” defense and type out “Triple A” each time I need to make reference to it.


Here is a simple, seven step, “how to,” for Triple A to get new customers.


Step 1. Wait for some dumb schmuck to roll up his windows nice and tight, then lock his cell phone and his keys along with all of his softball gear inside his car 30 minutes before his softball game. Should be easy.


Step 2. Let some dumb schmuck panic for 30 seconds and they try unsuccessfully to break into his own car using an extremely brittle stick or possibly a spare key for another car that happens to be in his wallet.


Step 3. With 25 minutes left until game time, have a teammate/friend show up and park in the stall right next to the dumb schmuck.


Step 4. Let teammate/friend offer to use his Triple A membership to call for a lockout service on dumb schmuck’s car.


Step 5. Within 10 minutes of said call from teammate/friend, have Triple A authorized vehicle/workman show up and unlock dumb schmuck’s car.


Step 6. Let dumb schmuck change his clothes and make it out to the field in time for warm-ups, then let dumb schmuck captain his team to a three run loss for the final game of the softball season.


Step 7. Watch dumb schmuck go home and immediately sign up for Triple A service online.


It’s just that easy.

7 comments:

Jon said...

There will be a beard update soon. I know that's what we're all looking for here, so just humor me for a post, ok?

Nadia said...

What Syar and I want to know is: did this dumb shmuck have a beard?

'Cause, you know...it'd explain a lot.

cadiz12 said...

i was that dumb schmuck one time a couple of years ago, and CC was so kind as to use her membership and call Triple A for me. i meant to sign up.

omar said...

If the dumb schmuck had a thick enough beard, he'd be able to keep a spare key hidden safely in the beard for instances just like this.

Anonymous said...

I thought Triple A was minor league baseball. If you lost by three runs, I doubt they would be interested...

Radioactive Jam said...

AAAAAAAAA iiisss oooppptttiiiooonnnaaalll uuunnntttiiilll yyyooouuu nnneeeeeeddd iiittt... TTThhheeennn iiittt'''sss aaa mmmuuusssttt hhhaaavvveee.........

Aside: I couldn't help noticing you seem to have "fallen off the wagon" with your one-a-month posting regimen. Feel free to stay off, if you know what I mean.

Nadia said...

"There will be a beard update soon."

Oh, how easily the lies fall...