Friday, August 24, 2007

Exciting Business Opportunity!

I’ve had a little time on my hands, so I’ve put together a rough sketch of the T-shirts I’d like to make for our little club. I hope I’m not over stepping my boundaries when I say that I think they look spectacular. As you can see below, there will be a liberal use of rhinestones, as well as my trademark dolphin motif on the back. Below that, I’ve added the words “Club Member” in a tough looking font to add some serious street cred. I don’t suspect anyone wearing this T-shirt will have any problems at all in even the meanest neighborhoods.

At my very core though, I’m a realist. I understand that not everyone loves dolphins as much as I do, especially when they are emblazoned on a shirt with a bedazzler. In light of that, I have also designed an alternate version with a kitty face on the back.

I don’t suspect they will reach the same staggering sales numbers that the dolphin will, but I do think that the numbers will justify their inclusion in the catalog.

I’m thinking of doing a limited run of 10,000 shirts. I think that should be enough to almost, but not quite, cover my fan base. I’d like to leave a little room for jealousy and pettiness. I want some fans to be able to rub it in that they got a shirt and some other fan didn’t. I’m trying to create a hierarchy amongst my fans. A general pecking order if you will. I think a few superiority complexes is just what the doctor ordered.

In order to get this up and running, I’ll need a silent investor that will simply supply me with the money, not ask questions and basically stay out of my way in every possible scenario. I’m thinking about $10,000,000.00 should be just enough to get this enterprise up and running, but the investor should be prepared to wire me more money on my every whim. Also, there’s no guarantees in business, and while this seems like an absolute can’t miss project, the investor should be prepared to lose everything and not take any action against me for any reason. I look forward to hearing from any silent investors in the extremely near future!! I might also be willing to accept multiple silent investors, should the need arise.


cadiz12 said...

i love how you use "Fan Base" just like Murray from Flight of the Conchords.

sign me up for a Dolphin version!

omar said...

I'm silently investing right now, as I type.

Jon said...

Cadiz: I love FOTC!!

order has been placed!

Omar: I knew I could count on you.

Funny though, I really thought this post would get a little more play. Once again proving that I know nothing of the interweb and it's strange ways...

Lia said...

Is it just something I don't get - why the extra "E" in member? We all love memes, I'm sure, but I'm guessing - typo?