Monday, February 02, 2009

Beard Status Update

It's been awhile since I last updated everyone on the status of my beard. Judging by the heavy Internet chatter as well as my desire to post pictures of myself taken by myself on myself's iPhone, I feel obligated to post. Of course, I am posting this from my iPhone. I recall not that long ago promising that I would post more often once I obtained the object of my gadget desire. Yet another promise fulfilled by the Shuck 'N Jive!

On to the status update...





As you can see, it's been awhile since my last shave. If I'm not mistaken, the last time I shaved was some time around my birthday. That means it's been well over three months. At this point, the hair on my chin is longer than the hair on my head. This needs to change soon. It's not itchy, but it is starting to feel weird. Maybe if I could grow hair between my jaw and my head it wouldn't be so bad, but as this next picture illustrates, I have a distinct "no grow" zone.





I am physically incapable of growing sideburns. They must be painted on by a team of three special effects artist, and that ain't cheap. Consequently, I only paint on the s'burns when I'm attending an Elvis Presley charity bake-off or when I want to convince random people to purchase slacks that are a half size too small for them. Unfortunately, due to the economic downturn, I've been forced to cut back on both occasions.

I'll most likely be making some beard alterations this evening, so if there are any requests, better get them in early!! I'll be checking my comments incessantly until after Chuck this evening. I'm going to need the distraction from looking at the tv during the show tonight because it's in 3D and I was unable to procure any glasses for proper viewing. I'll probably cry about that some more later. I'm kind of a ninny like that.

Comment early and comment often!!


-- Posted From My iPhone. Jealous?

10 comments:

Madelyn said...

Perhaps Rogaine on that part of your face would do the trick. ORRRRRrrrr hair implants. They are very popular these days, abd while I know you don't have the money for them now, maybe you will consider it in the future. Also, I sort of think the whole beard should go. I know certain people think this makes you look 12, but I think I have the solution: Dye the hair on your head Grey.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Red beard. Shave it off.

cadiz12 said...

my, that is a long beard. you look a little like the buggy drivers i saw in Amish country down near Springfield, Illinois.

i think shaving it all off is a little drastic--perhaps all you need is a trim?

Anonymous said...

I'd say that beard is just about right for a Civil War re-enactor.

Union or Confederate?

omar said...

I vote for a handlebar mustache.

De-lurkers against beards said...

I'll tell you why you can't grow s'burns: Your facial hair self-awareness.
It know you should grow a beard.

I'd listen to my facial hair Jon.

Madelyn said...

De-Lurkers against beards - What? You mean it knows you shouldN'T grow a beard?

Jon said...

I'll take all of this into consideration. I've already shaved it off, but I will still continue to weigh these options.

Lia said...

Jealous? Yes. But not of the beard.

Madelyn said...

I think you made the right choice. Were you able to find grey hair dye? For some reason I can't see anyone selling that. Perhaps you could go with white hair. It worked for Steve Martin, and that guy from our church, who also happens to be named Steve.