Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My First Milestone…

…worth mentioning. I’ve hit several milestones along the way, but up until now, none of them were worth mentioning. I mean, does anyone really care that my blog single handedly ended the thirty year civil war that plagued Konshciszistan? I certainly didn’t. Or maybe when I cracked the 100 spam comments in a 24 hour period… hardly something to be proud of.

No, we are here today to honor one of the Shuck N Jive’s 37 commentators. The milestone that was reached quite recently, in spite of the fact that many critics said the blog would fold in the first month due to its utter lack of anything worth reading, is the 500th comment. That’s right, 500 times someone other than myself was unable to restrain themselves and inwardly motivated to leave a comment that was 10 times more interesting than the actual post it was commenting on. (I had to remove myself from the count because otherwise we would be celebrating the 40,000th comment right now. Seriously, I think I have comment Tourrete’s )

This commentator has been here from the start. In fact, according to my records, their first comment was made on 3/2/04. Now, for those of you who are thinking, “But Jon… you didn’t start blogging until March of ’05?” Well, that’s what makes this commentator so special. They were commenting almost a year before I even HAD a blog. That’s dedication. And I refuse to believe that it's simply a time stamp error by a rogue email server. No, that's just not possible. I believe whole heartedly that this commentator was simply well ahead of their time. After crunching the numbers, I found that this person makes up 28% of all the non-me comments. No one else is even close.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, the 500th comment came from the lovely and talented Cadiz 12. And given the aforementioned statistics… it really isn’t a surprise. (Seriously, you might think that you comment a lot, but you got nothing on Cadiz… trust me. She practically doubles up the next closest person to her. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed by that. There’s a reason she’s been inducted into the Hall.)

So Cadiz 12, we here at the Shuck N Jive institute solute you and your efforts and look forward to more of the same!

Given your heavy hitter status, The Green Ninja moniker will be forever retired and will never be worn by another blogger. A bronzed Green Ninja statuette will be placed in the Shuck N Jive Hall of Fame along with a with a short 5 hour movie detailing the growth and comments of Cadiz 12.

(at this point, were I a skilled magician of some sort, there would be a sweet graphic photo here of all kinds of Cadiz 12 Hall of Fame type stuff, but what do you think this is? omarphillips.net? No sir, no bandaids required here, we aren’t that cutting edge.)

I apologize for the brevity of this post, but it was mostly unplanned.


jazz said...

thank god for a little brevity once in a while.

and this post is still longer than most of mine...

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

Congrats on 500 comments!

Congrats Cadiz on being the 500th commenter!

Glo said...

Way to go 'Diz - that required true stamina....

cadiz12 said...

wow. i'm speechless.

seriously? 28%? good god, do i really have that much to say?

thank you very much jon, for such an honor. i never thought i'd earn a bronze statuette as well as an engraved plaque all in one year.

but gloating aside, i do have a burning question:

what, exactly, is the phonetic pronunciation of 'Konshciszistan'?

Nadia said...

I'm linked! *goes into a state of deliriousness*

Not too delirious not to wonder the same thing as cadiz tho. And I thought the war lasted 31 years?

Tsk tsk.

Radioactive Jam said...

It that the place where the idea of "konshcing" someone on the head originated? Assuming of course the sh is sshilent as usshual. Wars have been fought over less, after all.

And congrats to both Jon and Cadiz 12 on the commently milestone.

Guyana-Gyal said...

No comment.

Syar said...

congrats cadiz!

(at this point, were I a skilled magician of some sort, there would be a sweet graphic photo here of all kinds of Cadiz 12 Hall of Fame type stuff, but what do you think this is? omarphillips.net? No sir, no bandaids required here, we aren’t that cutting edge.)

firstly : LOL. secondly, no bandaids?? no BANDAIDS??! do my sesame street plastered arms look like there were no bandaids involved? the nurses at the hospital mock me as papercut girl now. because of your blog, jon. because of you. *attempts a steely glare**fails**runs off to put a bert&ernie bandaid on my forehead*

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

Thanks for the link!

cadiz12 said...

excuse me, mr. Shuck N. Jive, but i happen to personally think this post is worth people's time, thank you very much.

my rant is now over.

carry on.

omar said...

Congrats, jon, on reaching 40,000 comments. And cadiz, the hall of fame induction has got to be a big moment for you, congrats to you as well.

Jon said...

Jasmine: What can I say, sometimes my fingers get a little tired… it’s not often, but as you can see, it happens. I’m not proud of it and I’m doing some strength training every day to make sure it doesn’t happen very often if at all.

Lou: Um… my whole post was a big pat on the back to Cadiz… I’m at a loss on how to reply to your comment… I mean, obviously I agree with you… but thanks for the congratulations!

Glo: Again… I agree with you… please read my post for proof… but you obviously did that already… this is some kind of hellish circle…

Cadiz: Seriously, you’ve earned it. Given the way we first met in the blog world, it is a true testament to your character.

As for the pronunciation, well, much like all of the surrounding countries in that area, when said correctly in it’s native tongue, it sounds like, “conshciszistan.” I hope that clears it up. If not, just remember, alternating consonants are silent, odd numbered vowels are elongated when pronounced, but only if the sum of the total letters is greater than 9 or if the total number of words in the sentence equals or matches half the total letters in your own name… it’s a pretty simple linguistic principle.

Nadia: Yeah, sorry it took so long for the link to appear… I’m thinking of hiring some new web designers… these old guys seem to be slow on the draw, you know?

See above for pronunciation. As to the war question, that is a common mistake. A lot of history books list it as a 31 year war, but the truth is, the first year it was only recognized as a military conflict, not a full blown war. So it was one year of military conflict, then 30 years of civil war. I hope that clears things up. Like I said, few history books out there really cover the topic properly.

RJ: No, that is also a common misconception. In fact, there are no known techniques for doing anything to anyone’s head that originated in Konshciszistan. However, there are several knee bashing techniques that have roots there. That’s where the phrase, “Yeah, he really schciszied the crap out of my knee!” comes from.

Wars have been fought over less. I recently started one over some spilt milk… I won’t go into detail, but you should consider staying away from the Baltic Sea for your next cruise.


G.G.: Have I touched a nerve?

Syar: Yes yes… congrats Cadiz… I’ve been over this.

While I admit that on occasion I have paper sharp wit, I’m still not omarphillips.net. I’m glad that you enjoy the nonsense I produce. You clearly posses some kind of superhuman ability to alter the state of your mind so that what I write comes across as humorous. I envy you and wish that you could teach others to do the same.

By the way, I have a question of pronunciation for you… how exactly would one pronounce your name? I’m kind of a nut about this stuff, I like to pronounce people’s names correctly, even if I may never see them, save for the rare towel and coffee meetings. (by the way, I don’t drink coffee, but I appreciate the offer.)

Lou: Any time! (is that really an appropriate response to your comment? I’m not so sure it is…)

Cadiz: I apologize, you are correct. I will change comment link post haste so that this comment by you looks both ridiculous and unnecessary.

Omar: Thanks, they say that the first 40,000 are the toughest. I sure hope they are right because all but 6 of them were quite pleasant.

I can’t comment on how big of a moment it was for her though, she’d have to tell you that. I’m thinking it landed somewhere between finding a shiny dime in the dryer and not stepping in dog poop in the morning.

Syar said...

pronunciation, eh? syar is shortened from my full name syarifah, just so you know. its pronounced shArr. is it spelt just like it sounds? I sincerely have no idea.

superhuman ability? *blushes* aww, shucks.

Glo said...

Did anyone else giggle about the post-length comment within the comment-length post?

And, Syar, I had no idea. That's so beautiful.

cadiz12 said...

jon, thank you for clarifying on the comment link. i don't mind looking ridiculous in the least.

and thanks also for bringing up the burning question about syar. i never guessed that possibility. syarifah is much better than how i thought it was in my head.

Nadia said...

"syarifah is much better than how i thought it was in my head."

Ahahahahaha. Now you've got me wondering...

Syar, the votes are in: your name is beautiful. Like you.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Yes yes, Jon, you've touched a nerve. I want more posts more often from you so I can comment lots of times and get honourable mention too.

Awww, when I said 'no comment' I was just being lazy.

Guyana-Gyal said...

One more comment.

If I keep this up I will get honourable mention too.

jazz said...

and because everything should be about me all the time, i think it's worth mentioning that it all started with me. where would you be today had you not found my blog and then made fun of every commenter i had?

Jon said...

Syar: Thanks for the clarification, I appreciate it!

Glo: I giggled the whole time that I was typing it. Does that count? Of course, anyone that knows me knows that I giggle pretty much all the time… that’s why the call me Jon the little school girl.

Cadiz: I’m with you, I was way off on the pronunciation. That’s much better than what I had. I was pronouncing it, “mpweionpnoigggffftzzz.” As you can see, I was a little off. Not much, but certainly not 100% correct.

Nadia: I guess you’ll have to keep wondering… Not about me though… see above.

G.G.: Believe me when I tell you that no one is more disappointed than I am about my lack of posts. Don’t worry though, I’m hoping to get fired from my job fairly soon, so that should free up a lot more time.

G.G.: This is not meant as discouragement, but you have a long way to go to catch up. I’ve got faith in you though.

Jasmine: 100% true. I would be pretty much nowhere without you. It quite clearly started all with you. That alone should put you in the Hall of Fame, but the official voters can be funny about that stuff sometimes… I don’t exactly have a lot of pull with the voters, but I’ll see what I can do… Do you think recapping how it all started for me is post worthy? Is that a story you think the kids would like to hear?

Guyana-Gyal said...

I want to hear how Jon harrassed the folks commenting on Jasmine's blog.

I need to know.

There Jon, there, am I there yet? :-D

Syar said...

that's so sweet that Glo and Cadiz like my name. thanks much. *big grin* totally made my day. see jon, and you go on about no bandaids. your blog has feel good quality. like chicken soup!

Syar said...

and I didn't think everyone (i.e. 3 people) was so curious about my name. here in Malaysia, its quite common. jon, I'm pretty sure that's how the swahili pronounce my name. or people with marbles in their mouth. ;-)

cadiz12 said...

i think a post about how jon made his commenting debut would indeed be a good one. if for nothign but to reiterate yet again that nancy drew is a total badass.