The Inevitable

There are annoyingly few guarantees in life, but I've resigned myself to a few certainties.  It is unavoidable that at some point in my life I will have to fight a bear*.  I don't know what kind of bear, but we will do battle with only our hands/paws and wits/uncontrollable bear rage.  You can expect it to look something like this:

*Please note that if it is at all possible, I will try to fight the smallest bear I can find.  I'm not saying I'll walk away from a fight just because it's a larger bear than I would like, I'm just saying that I'm a realist, and the chances of me taking down the biggest bear aren't nearly as good as my chances of taking down a smaller bear.  Not a baby bear, I won't fight children, but if there's such a thing as a dwarf bear, or a midget bear, or some kind of animatronic build-a-bear that's the size of a dachshund hound or something, I want in on that fight.  I'm also open to Koala bears.