Monday, August 31, 2009

Hey Jon, what have you been doing?

Funny you should ask. I just finished up a fairly elaborate pie chart that breaks down how I've been spending my time lately. The first thing you'll notice is that I don't track how much time I spend in the bathroom. Now you know where I draw the line. The second thing you'll notice is that I can't draw very good circles. I drew this while watching The Fast and Furious. Maybe now that you know my brain was completely numb at the time, it's not so bad, is it?

As you can see, I lead a pretty fulfilled life. Yet another reminder of why you want to be me. Some of the things I do are related, like pretending to be busy and sleeping. They just go hand in hand. I would have preferred to spend a small portion of my time purchasing winning lottery tickets, but it was not to be. There were two winning tickets sold in that 333 million dollar megamillions jackpot. One was sold in New York and one in California. I've lived in both of those places in the past. Sounds like someone needs to update their address book, megamillions.

Suddenly I'm overcome with bitterness. I've gotta go.

* Eating sunflower seeds and watching the Dodger are the same thing, so you can use those interchangeably.

-- Posted From My iPhone while eating sunflower seeds.


Syar said...

The beauty of this is that you can probably do all 5 things portioned out in the pie chart at once. Talk about efficient! I love sunflower seeds. Do you ever get the ones that are honey roasted? Mmmm, those taste so much like candy they make me feel guilty.

Madelyn said...

I don't understand why you spend so much time dealing with cotton mouth?

Jon said...

Syar: You're darn tooting I can! And it's all thanks to my iPhone! Because I can watch live Dodger games on my iPhone while purchasing losing lottery tickets and dealing with cotton mouth. This will of course be done while I'm sleeping in line to buy said tickets during work hours, so it looks like I'm busy. Done x^5.

Madelyn: Eat some sunflower seeds, in the shell, salted for 4-5 hours a day and let me know how that mouth feels.

cadiz12 said...

i think it's gross when people spit those sunflower-seed shells all over the place. but it's a much better habit than chewing tobacco, which is bad for your health. Actually, it doesn't sound like cotton mouth is that great for your health, either. they're always talking about it on pharmaceutical commercials. i'd look into that, my friend.

if you win the megamillions, you're so totally buying me dinner.

omar said...

Sadly, that NY winner wasn't me.

I'm actually quite impressed with the quality of the pie chart. Nice job.

I'm not sure I've ever really experienced this "cotton mouth" you speak of. I'm not sure I'm willing to take up sunflower seeds. Can you get it by eating Swedish Fish?