Thursday, October 25, 2007

Where is he now?

I have been out of work for approximately 2 months now. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been working, just not for anyone else or for any money. I’m actually quite surprised at how little time I have, given that I’m not longer sacrificing 10 hours a day, five days a week to do what someone else wants me to. In some ways, I’ve benefited greatly from my endeavors. Some long time readers may know a little about my obsession with MythTV, the open source, homebrew version of Tivo. I’ve finally perfected my system. I currently watch TV on my projector, which provides me with a 50 inch, High Definition screen. I can record shows in HD, the watch them later sans commercials. It’s a free setup, so I’m not paying any monthly fees or anything. And thanks to BitTorrent, I’m not even restricted to just OTA network channels. I just watched the first season of Dexter. It is a truly glorious mini home theater that I’ve set up for a nominal cost.

Amazingly glorious home theaters aside, I’ve also been getting more involved in improvising. Not so much like the marines, more like the opposite of the marines. I’ve been taking classes at UCB (The Upright Citizen’s Brigade). It’s been going pretty well. I’ve made some new friends and also had the chance to publicly embarrass myself on stage a few times. You really can’t pass up those opportunities when they’re presented to you. But the deeper I get into the classes the more I worry. In order to be good at improv, you need to be quick witted and intelligent. These are qualities that I once thought I possessed, but as the years go by, I’m starting to question the level of intelligence that I have.

It’s become apparent to me that I’m more easily amused now than ever before. I find that almost any show on television captivates me. I can’t stop watching Chuck, Big Bang Theory and Cavemen. How did this happen? I called in the team to do some research.

After two solid weeks of pouring over the transcripts of my day to day activities, (I have three full time stenographers operating on rotating shifts to record all my words and actions. I talk in my sleep otherwise I’d only have two, but not a word can be lost. I’m certain historians will find all my utterances, conscious or not, of the utmost and supreme importance to all future generations. Plus, it really keeps the peace when arguing with friends and family about what I did or did not say after drinking entirely too much Gatorade.) my research team has singled out the deepest and most profound thought I’ve had since I was terminated. It came during one of my many sleeping rants on the morning of August 22, 2007 at 3:22 AM. Mere days after I was officially let go by the company. It is as follows:

“Soft taco supremes are really just poorly wrapped burrito supremes.”

That’s it. It’s been all down hill since then. I’m talking a 14% grade down hill. Yesterday I found myself asking the cat for advice on how to properly invest my socks (no, not stocks, socks. Not a typo.). I don’t even know what that means.


cadiz12 said...

oh man. so when i'm officially unemployed in a week and few days can you hook me up with a mythbox? somehow i think the netflix isn't going to keep me very busy.

rant or not, i think you're onto something about the soft taco supremes...

omar said...

I've been watching Chuck, Cavemen, and Carpoolers. I'm not embarrassed to admit to watching Chuck, though.

That's pretty cool about the improv classes. I took an acting class in college. I sucked.

I thought that was going to be a better story when I started typing it.

Syar said...

See, if they showed any of those three shows here, I'd watch 'em. And don't even get me started on Malaysia and HD. There is no link. We can have the first Malaysian in space but we turn a deaf ear to high-definition.

Too cool about the improv classes. I hope you're not pulling a Michael Scott in them, or I"ll have to confiscate your imaginary guns.

This reference may just go over your head seeing as you say you have a friend who makes it difficult for you to enjoy The Office. I'm sorry to hear that. This is why I choose my friends based on my TV-watching experiences.

A said...

MythTV? What is that? I feel like I need to know and maybe take it back home with me when I leave this country in a few months, degree in hand but unemployed.

A said...

The question above is a 'google question' as one of my professors calls it. The wisdom is as follows:

'Don't bring to class a question that will take you 30 seconds to google'

PS. I haven't forgotten the concept of padding. Expect a follow up comment.

omar said...

Happy birthday! This is 30, right? AARP is right around the corner, man.