Monday, January 15, 2007

What I can’t describe

Wow, I honestly can’t believe it’s been a month since my last post.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing. I’ve been wondering how the hell I posted every day for an entire month. I’m completely baffled by that one. Who saw that coming? Certainly not me. I had myself out on day 3 at the office pool. I thought I was a lock because nobody at the office knows about the blog or the pool for me to fail at blogging for an entire month after just 3 days. I lost all of my savings on that bet… I thought it was a gimmie given that I was the only one in the pool, and it was based on my own actions, therefore the fix should have been in… I really shouldn’t gamble. That’s the lesson I learned.

However, given that I lost the bet to myself, I found myself with a nice lump sum of money, so I did what anyone would do and I blew the whole thing on a week long trip to Chicago to visit my girlfriend. It was practically free money, right?

I had two main goals when visiting my girlfriend: 1. Hang out with my girlfriend, and 2. See a large and deadly lizard.

Let me just say, if those are your two main goals in life, then Chicago is the place for you. The Shedd Aquarium currently has the Komodo Dragon on display, and let me tell you, I’ve never seen a more threatening lizard in my life. Below I’ve embedded a 13 hour video that I took of the deadly beast during my visit this past weekend. Pay close attention, at exactly 11 hours 13 minutes and 42 seconds, the Dragon blinks and it’s arguably the most terrifying blink I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve modified the video so that you can’t fast forward or rewind. I don’t want you to skip through anything, and furthermore, I don’t want you to be able to just rewind to see the good parts over again. This is a once in a lifetime experience, and I want you to feel like you were actually there yourself. The video should also play automatically, so there’s no need to ask absurd questions like, “Where is the play button?” or, “How come this doesn’t actually look like a video but more like a regular picture?”

I assume that’s going to take up most of your time, so I’ll just let you enjoy the majesty of a 300-pound lizard.

I will leave you with this: Upon visiting the Shedd Aquarium, it was obvious to me that there was some serious fish loving going on by this John G. Shedd guy, so I offer up my own personal advertisement for the Shedd Aquarium…

The John G. Shedd Aquarium. It’s about a man and his love of fish.

This is the actual statute right outside the entrance to the aquarium. I can’t believe people are ok with this.


cadiz12 said...

didn't steve irwin feature one of those dragons on his show? i think i heard it chased him and didn't just sit there. i think you got conned.

omar said...

I love that there's a "fish lovers" tag on this post.

Also, I'm a little unsure about the scale of this fish lover statue. (Ha ha, scales, fish. Totally unintentional.) Originally, I thought it was just like a normal sized guy. But are those benches behind him? Is this a giant fish lover? Expressing his love for fish?

Oh, and do you remember in my 100 things post, the 101st thing was a video of turtles doing the nasty? That was at the Shedd Aquarium in 2002. Coincidence? I think not. This Shedd fellow, he sure does promote the love.

Syar said...

It looks like they're dancing. And in love.

So wrong.

Nadia said...

Oh my God. I totally saw the blink!!! I've lost all feeling in my ass, and my eyeballs have shrivelled up and fallen out from lack of moisture due to not blinking but it was so worth it.

Thank you, Jon. For bestowing me with one of the most magical moments I'll ever experience. Forget my first kiss, my wedding, the birth of my first litter of cats. This trumps them all.

Thank you.

cadiz12 said...

look, pal, if this is some kind of ridiculous attempt to get everyone to write you off so that the next time you post 30 days in a row you'll collect big in vegas, you can just forget it.

Jon said...

I can’t believe no one pointed out my “statute vs statue” typo…


Cadiz: I’m positive I got conned. We didn’t even get to see him feed. We were promised jaw dropping feats of devouring a full pig in half an hour!!! This lizard did little if anything to terrify me.

Omar: Yes, the tagging has begun, thus you can expect to see some amazingly relevant tags on all forthcoming posts. I know what you’re thinking, can he really do that for all 11 posts scheduled to come out this year? Yes Omar, yes he can.

The benches are a little deceiving in this picture, they are off in the background a little bit, but I assure you, this is no miniature statue. It’s at least 10-12 feet tall. You can’t miss it. It must be new because everyone I’ve talked to that’s been to the Shedd has no recollection of such a thing and seriously, how could you miss that???

And yes, I remember 101 quite well…

Syar: If loving fish was wrong, John G. Shedd didn’t want to be right.

Nadia: First kisses and weddings are over rated. Kitten Births rank in the top 5, but watching the world’s deadliest lizard blink? How can you compare that to anything? I’m just glad I was able to share the magic.

You’re very welcome.

Cadiz: I gots to pay the billz, and fake gambling on my blog is all I got. My regular day job only pays regular bills, but billz gots all kindz of collectorz that you don’ts want to be mezzin wit.

I really shouldn’t try to be cool like that, should I?

Radioactive Jam said...

Thanks for leaving 'statute' in place. I noticed it before I read your comment. Honest. And I'm not just being asttute here.

Also I feel really bad because I didn't see the dragon blink. I watched, I really did. But I think I must have blinked...