Wednesday, January 25, 2006

How about we see some changes?

Every so often I reach a point where life becomes so routine and mundane that every day just seems to blend into the others forming one giant mushball of crap days. This kind of thing becomes evident to my friends and family when I say things like, “So what’s president Regan up to these days?” or, “What’s new in the Soviet Union? Is that cold war thing working out for anyone?” Generally I get smacked in the mouth and remember that it’s 2006 and we still don’t have flying cars or condos on the moon yet. (However, I do feel it necessary to point out that property on the moon is dirt cheap right now and what with the rising cost of land in California, I felt like I would be a fool not to purchase several thousand acres of land in the Sea of Tranquility which is sure to be a hot spot when they start developing. We’ll see who gets the last laugh…) This always disappoints me.

Then there’s the flip side to that coin. I’ll get into a mood where the futures so bright, I have to wear shades. (Stupid old song reference: Check.) There seems like there are an infinite number of possibilities, my job doesn’t suck and all is right with the world. Then I’ll go through a drive-thru at Wendy’s and when the window lady hands me my food, she’ll say, “Thanks for coming, see you tomorrow!” and I’ll think to myself, she knows something I don’t… (by the way, this is a true story. I’m 98.36548% sure that English was not her first language and she was just trying to be polite by wishing me well with one of our crazy American clich├ęs, but there’s that nagging (seriously, biggest f’ing nag I’ve ever met) 1.63452% that says something else is going on, and great lengths have been taken to keep me out of the loop) Then I’ll remember that it’s 2006 and we still don’t have flying cars or condos on the moon.


Radioactive Jam said...

So... new font?

Wouldn't worry about the "tomorrow" thing. Even psychics need regular jobs, and Wendy's EOE charter specifically lists "Psychics" as eligible for employment.

omar said...

I read your ATOM feed, and when I read the title, I expected to come to your site and see a new template or something.

I noticed the font, as Jam did. After a while, it finally occurred to me that the other change is post length. I could read this one without taking a break mid-post, and frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Yes, it's nice to not have to take a break. But it almost doesn't feel like shuck n jive, you know?

Jon said...

RJ: yeah, that’s some new font alright, but it was totally unintentional. For those that don’t know, I like to type my posts up in word, then copy-paste them into blogger. This makes it a lot easier on my sanity in those rare cases when blogger decides to take the initiative and try and stop me from polluting the internet with my nonsense. In order to counter act that, I just copy paste again, sometimes as many as 40 or 50 times. I can be quite determined. At any rate, for whatever reason, blogger still likes to tinker with my “genius” and messes with the font and type size. It changes from one paragraph to the next. I’m not sure why that is. So I went back in and used blogger tools to try and get some uniformity… what you see is the culmination of that 3 second effort.

As to the psychics, I suppose they are entitled to work, but my problem really stems from the fact that the lottery drawing was that night, and if I were to win, I most certainly would not be going back to Wendy’s the next day. (no sir, not when I could finally afford Arby’s) so she was pretty much guaranteeing a non-win of the lottery for me.

Omar: You would expect to see changes, wouldn’t you? I pride myself on going that extra mile to completely mislead people with my post titles sometimes. I like to keep them guessing.

As to the length, well, I just couldn’t come up with anything good to write about. As regular readers of this blog know, that is nothing new. But recently I developed some sort of hoity toity, self-righteous streak wherein I refuse to compromise my integrity and write something less than satisfactory for the sole purpose of appeasing the masses. No sir, not here at the shuck n jive.

So yeah, that response to comments was easily longer than the post itself. I am an enigma wrapped inside a mystery of an easily solved child’s puzzle… you know, one of those boards with a square, a circle, a triangle and a star shaped holes with corresponding blocks to fit in there… yeah, I’m a lot like that.

girlspit said...

I'm just still disappointed about the no-flying-car thing. Bizarrely short post, are you feeling ok? Maybe you should spray yourself with some Windex.

cadiz12 said...

there's definitely something up with the Wendy's lady. i'd watch out for that one.

Jon said...

Girlspit: Well hello stranger! It’s been awhile. Glad to see your back. I apologize for have such a paltry selection, but I assure you, I’m feeling ok. Good even. Maybe I’ll buff up with some windex though, just to be safe. Seriously though, where the F are the flying cars?

Cadiz: Don’t worry, she’s been added to my surveillance list. I’ll be keeping uncomfortably close tabs on her from now on. I’m thinking of hiring a team of no less than 17 private investigators to take rotating shifts keeping an eye on her and all her activities, most of which will be classified as nefarious I’m sure.

Syar said...

despite the amazingly uncharacteristic short length of this post, this comment thread makes up for it.

will one of those 17 P.I's be a retired "mall pig"? haven't heard from dukowski or schmidt in ages.