Halloween Eve…

I think enough time has passed so that I can now comment on my office Halloween party without throwing a large, heavy object through the nearest window. At this point in the post, you may have noticed that today is October 30th and that I’m talking about our office party in the past tense. A couple of thoughts may be running through your head, like, “Office Halloween party? But it’s only the 30th. Halloween isn’t until the 31st.” or, “He must be talking about last year’s party, because Halloween is on the 31st, and today is only the 30th.” Or, even more likely, “I can’t believe all of the Christmas stuff is already up in the stores. Can’t we at least have Halloween first?”

Whatever your thought process, these are the facts: I’m talking about this year’s, 2006, Halloween party. In my office, it has already happened, and the party occurred on Friday, the 27th from 3 to 4 pm. There was a hay ride for the kids, as well as some decent candy being handed out. Most of that candy was eaten by some inconsiderate adults.

We’ll also be celebrating Christmas on January 14th, 2007 and New Year’s has been pushed back to mid March. See, where I work, when a holiday that has been celebrated for hundreds, if not thousands, of years falls on an inconvenient day, we just move it to whatever day works better for our industry. We’re the number 3 XXXXX (edited for content) company in the country, so we have that kind of power.

I did not dress up this year for the second year in a row. This is because for the second year in a row, we have moved Halloween to accommodate work. I’m against this, and in protest, I refuse to defend my title of “Most Entertaining Costume,” for which I was awarded a sort of crappy fruit basket and a $5 gift certificate to Target. My parents were very proud.

I guess what I want to know is, am I the only one that thinks we should celebrate Halloween ON Halloween??? I’ve heard of places where they force the kids to trick or treat on the Sunday right before Halloween between the hours of 3pm and 5pm, when it’s not even dark yet?!!?!?! Is this kind of nonsense and chicanery actually being practiced? Will the good people of this country actually pay me money to protest that sort of behavior? Is there some private financier that will give me an unusually large bank account to draw on to support myself and possibly a family while I campaign against these Halloween travesties? Hmmm… yeah, the more I think about it, the more I think there probably isn’t anyone willing to support me like that… but there should be! This has got to stop.

Am I biased? Of course.

Seriously though, my costume was pretty sweet…