Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The “D” is for Danger

Due to the legality of possibly jinxing my team, I have previously been unable to mention this year’s summer league. As of last night, we completed a perfect 6-0 summer season. Yes, there were some close calls along the way, and there were a few mercy rule games, but in the end, we remained undefeated.

It didn’t come easy. We battled through injuries and flakes. We played some good teams and some bad. But most importantly, we played for free because the company picked up the tab.*

It’s not easy to win every game of the season. You rarely see it in professional sports, and at this level, it’s almost impossible. We aren’t saddled with the burden of playing to make money. We’re all out here for the love of it, which makes it ten times more competitive then you’ll ever see in the pros**. When you see a 450 lbs man try and leg out a slow grounder to the pitcher, you know that it’s done out of love, not for a paycheck.

We have one week off, then it’s on to the fall season. As always, there will be some turnover in player personnel. I think we have the makings of a dynasty here. I believe the core of the team will remain intact as they are all still under contract and what with the perfect season and all, it’s hard to see anyone demanding a trade. But there’s still some fat to trim. That one guy, who never came to a single game and was actually fired from the company midway through the season? Yeah, I don’t think he’ll be resigned.

* The author had no intention of making this paragraph rhyme, it just worked out that way.

** This statement is most likely false as there was no research done on this topic. Often times the author makes up “truths” in his head and sees little reason to verify such obviously idiotic claims.


cadiz12 said...

congratulations, slugger.

btw, i love the green.

Radioactive Jam said...

Battling through injuries I understand, but 'flakes?' I don't -- unless these were like, bowl games maybe. Did it snow? Did irate fans throw granola? Did your team play in a newly renovated but incorrectly primed Painted Desert? Is Earl Scheib your corporate sponsor?

My expiring mind wants to know.

Anonymous said...

You will probably lose everone to free agency and be forced to play rookies. Good luck.

Jon said...

Cadiz: Thanks! Our team colors are green and yellow. It’s one of the most highly coveted color schemes out there. One day, when we get uniforms, they’ll probably have that color scheme…

Jam: Flakes are the people that say they’ll be at the game, then don’t show up. A couple of seasons ago, we had so many flakes that we had to forfeit 3 games. That meant a $150 fine, which I wasn’t willing to pay since I wasn’t the one that forgot to show up. So not paying the fine got us suspended from the league for a year. We’re just a bunch of delinquents really…

We tried to get Chico’s Bail Bonds to sponsor us, but they seemed committed to another team already.

Anonymous: That’s why, as acting GM, I have take the time to lock up all of our best prospects to long term deals. With any luck, the core of this team (our 2-5 hitters) should be around for a long time.

cadiz12 said...

i don't know about that, jon. aren't the colors for the Green Bay Packers yellow and green? i've been indoctrinated to hate that team.

omar said...

I'd like to be the first to offer my congratulations on your perfect summer season.

I think I'm too late for that, though.

Instead, I'll go have some lunch. But first, what position do you play? And how much do you credit that one uncuttable hair for your success?

Jon said...

Cadiz: That’s a tough call. And also not a fair one. If I were a betting man (and I’m not) then I’d say you might like the color red because it’s what the Bulls wear, but, it’s also what the Cardinals wear… how do you deal with that? You hate the Cardinals, not the Bulls, that’s how. You can hate the Packers, but don’t hate the colors.

Omar: You may not be the first, but you are the second, which considering you’re the 4th not-me commenter is kind of sad. Well, at least I know where I stand.

As to your other questions, I’m supposed to be in the outfield. Preferably center, but circumstances of monumental annoyance kept me from playing there until the last game of the season. I did make 5 put outs that game though. Due to previously mentioned circumstances, I spent most games at 2nd base. I played 1 at third too. But I can play pretty much anywhere on the field. I had one bad game at 2nd, but otherwise I was pretty reliable. I’m really more suited to the outfield though. I can only attribute the success of 33% of our victories to the uncut hair. Prior to the last two games, all of my hairs remained uncut, so it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly which hair was responsible for the victories. I’m absolutely sure one of them was responsible though.