I know what you're thinking, you're in your late 20's and you can finally grow a mustache. Congratulations, that's no small feat. Every year, dozens of people walk around in shame with a naked lip. They can't help it, their either genetically incapable of growing one, or they're not in their late 20's. All those high school kids you see walking around with a mustache? Fake. The lip toupee industry is the second largest toupee industry behind wrist wigs. Of course, all of this is common knowledge.
What I'm about to tell you now is going to get me killed. Not "maybe" get me killed, absolutely, positively will get me killed. Fortunately, these mustache types really take their time. They might not get to me until I'm in my mid to late 150's. What nobody wants you to know about when growing a mustache is that after a certain point, those mustache hairs curl back inside your mouth. Think about that. And while you're thinking about that, now would be a good time to look at this:
See how that picture ties in to what I was saying? Aren't you glad you listened to me and looked at the picture? Out of context it might not have made sense. I didn't want that to happen, so I purposefully drew attention to it at the appropriate time.
As the picture demonstrates in amazingly accurate detail, most of the mustache hair curling inside the mouth occurs at the corners. It's actually more annoying than you'd think. I feel like it's my job to dispense this information to the future mustache growers of America/Finland (those are the two countries I feel would most benefit from this knowledge.). Be prepared for this guys (and girls, I don't want to discriminate here).
Ok, now I have to go wait for my death. See you in 120+ years Mustache Mafia!
