Below, you will find a few pictures I've taken over the last few months along with some clever comments about said picture. There's no way you won't enjoy this.
"Hey guys, think it's time to defrost the freezer?"
That line got a huge applause at work. I don't think they stopped laughing for at least 3 days.
"This way, it doesn't matter if you wash your hands after you use the bathroom, your hands will be filthy no matter what."
Nobody laughed at that one, but that's because I was alone in the bathroom at the time. I thought about writing it down on a piece of paper, but then I remembered that most people I work with are illiterate. I'm currently working on building a motion sensing robot that has a recording of me saying that and will play it whenever someone makes eye contact with the dispenser. And yes, I realize that still doesn't make sense on account of the illiteracy problem I mentioned, but I like to make things, get off my back.
I didn't say anything when I found out I had to use these the other day in order to UPGRADE the OLDER software! That's right, I used *5* 3.5" floppies in order to upgrade the system. We're on the cutting edge.
These are for a project I'm working on. If the project doesn't go well, I can always go chase the dragon, or some other such drug reference.
"Everyone knows domesticated sardines just don't taste as good."
Yeah, I think I nailed that one. I was in a grocery store and I wasn't really talking to anyone, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the general vicinity was thinking the same thing. That same thing being that I totally nailed it.
"Successfully inflicting personal injury since 1964!"
You can draw your own erroneous conclusions about how this is actually an ad for a Personal Injury attorney, but look at the ad closely, the two guys on the right? That's not Brown & Brown like you might think, that's one of the Brown brothers and a satisfied customer. The guy on the far right has successfully had his eye put out. Probably by the Brown with the warmest hands.
Ok, I think that's all I have for now. That totally makes up for not posting in maybe the last 6 months, right?